Late Term - A short story

Jane’s eyes were heavy. The fatigue from eight hours of labor implored her to sleep, but she could not stop her mind from racing. After a quick assessment of her baby, the doctor had taken him out of the room. At the time, Jane didn’t know what to say. It seemed odd – none of the books she read mentioned them taking her baby away for further tests so quickly, but the doctor said it would be just a few minutes.

That was a half hour ago and Jane was beginning to panic.

She knew it was silly. The entire obstetrics department had been nothing but kind and considerate of her, especially since they learned she would be going through this alone. Though, it was in part their non-stop consideration that made this sudden abandonment so jarring.

Where on earth was her doctor?

Another five minutes passed before her question was answered. Her doctor walked in and her heart immediately dropped. The look on his face was clear as day – something had gone wrong.

“Where’s my baby,” was all she could muster, her hands beginning to shake.

“He’s comfortable,” Dr. Berg replied. “We have a nurse monitoring him to make sure he stays warm and calm while you and I talk.”

“About what?” Jane asked.

Dr. Berg crossed the room and sat on the bed by her legs. He made a show of looking down at the ground and wringing his hands for a moment. Then, with a look of pained concern, he turned to her.

“There’s no easy way to say this. It looks like your child has a congenital heart defect that we were unable to detect until just after birth. I know it’s hard to hear, but…”

“I don’t…” Jane cut in. “I don’t understand. The screening…”

“Can’t catch everything, I’m afraid. We’re very sorry to have to tell you this, but it’s likely the child will never be fully healthy. It is not the sort of defect we can fix with surgery, and even a transplant would not guarantee a healthy life…on top of that, it would be quite costly. I know that you’re on your own in this.”

Jane’s mouth flapped open, but she could not find the words to express her confusion. Her mind flew through a thousand thoughts at once. She was lost, baffled, frightened and, above all things alone.

“You don’t have to say anything right now,” Dr. Berg assured her. “I know this is hard, so I’ve taken the liberty of inviting someone I believe can help you through this.”

“I…like a counselor?” Jane stammered.

“Like a counselor,” Dr. Berg replied. Turning to the door, he called out. “Doctor Murphy, you can come in now.”

Jane turned to the door to find a slight, brown-haired woman of around forty stepping in. Dr. Murphy smiled at her and approached the bed to place an arm on her shoulder.

“Hello, Jane,” she said. “My name is Diane. I understand this is all very surprising and you probably don’t know what to do, but I’m here to help you with that.”

“Dr. Murphy works for the Women’s Center down the block,” Dr. Berg explained. “We called her as soon as we found out about the heart defect and she came right over. She’s an expert on this kind of issue and she can help.”

“Y-you’re a, carda…cardiologist?” Jane said.

“No, I’m an Ob/Gyn like Dr. Berg,” Dr. Murphy said, “but I help women in your position.”

“Can you fix my son’s heart?” Jane asked.

“Unfortunately, no,” Dr. Murphy replied. “There’s really nothing than can be done for the poor thing. However, there is something we can do to make sure he doesn’t suffer. We can solve this problem for you and you won’t have to worry about going through all this alone. Before we discuss it though, I have to caution you – this is not technically legal yet, but it will be soon.”

Jane frowned.

“Not legal? How can it not be legal to help my baby?”

“Well,” Dr. Murphy said with a sympathetic look, “I ask myself that same thing every day. And why shouldn’t it be legal to help you in your time of need? That’s all I want to do. Luckily, the world is beginning to catch up with the times and soon, I think, these acts of compassion will be commonplace.”

“I don’t understand, doctor.”

“I know,” Dr. Murphy replied. “I’ll explain, but I need you to understand that I’m doing this for you and, while I can get in trouble, I am willing to make that sacrifice.”

“Ok,” Jane said, though she did not understand. Dr. Murphy nodded and turned to Dr. Berg, who rose to his feet.

“This is where I leave you,” he said. “Best of luck to you both.”

Before Jane could say a word, Dr. Berg was gone and she was left with only the smiling face of Dr. Murphy.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “You’re safe with me. Now, I don’t want to get into the details too much. I just want to explain enough so that you understand that this is the best possible solution to your problem. See, the child’s heart defect is quite severe. From what we can tell, it will never be able to have a normal life – not the kind of life a mother would want for her child. We think it’s only fair to explain this to you now, before there are no more options.

“Raising a child like this will be nearly impossible, and would be an immense challenge even if you weren’t all alone. It will take all of your time, all of your energy, and likely every cent you ever earn. And even then, the child would suffer. We don’t want you to have to go through that.”

Jane could feel her heart thumping through her chest, and the rushing blood made her head feel light. She could barely fathom the depth of what she was being told. Every word this smiling woman said was terrifying. And yet…

“He’s already born,” Jane said. “It’s…”

“Let me stop you there,” Dr. Murphy said, maintaining her warm smile. “This…the product of conception at this point is just that. It can barely see or hear, and even if it could it would have no way to understand. It can’t perceive the world around it and it doesn’t know what is going on around it. It doesn’t even know who you are.

“Yes, it’s born. But that’s all. Other than that, what is it really?”

“But…he’s my child…”

“Only if you say he is,” Dr. Murphy replied. “I’m not telling you what to do, Jane. I wouldn’t do that, but this would be nearly impossible to do on your own – and you are on your own, dear. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is. You don’t have to go through this though, and neither does it. Let it go. Continue living your life. And when the time is right, have a healthy family you can find joy in – a family that won’t take away everything you are and turn you into a full time caregiver for the rest of your life. That’s no way for a young woman to live.”

Jane shook her head, but fear began to wash over her. It grew stronger with every passing moment as she thought of everything she had…and everything she would lose.

“What are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Dr. Murphy said. “You don’t have to worry about anything. Just say the word and I’ll take care of it all. No more pain, Jane. Once I leave this room, you can go on with your life.”

“Can I say goodbye?” Jane asked.

“It’s best if you don’t,” Dr. Murphy said. “Seeing it will only make the decision harder. And please trust me that this is the right thing to do. This is compassion for you both.”

Tears welled in Jane’s eyes, but she nodded.

“Ok,” she said.

Dr. Murphy placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled. Without another word, she left the room and never returned. A few hours later, Jane was dressed and sitting in her car. Tears threatened, but she fought them back. Life would go on, she was certain. Everything would be ok.

Five Years Later

Jane’s eyes followed the cartoon alphabet that circled the exam room as she and her husband, Greg, waited for the pediatrician to return with the results of their son’s exam. Greg squeezed her hand, seeing the worry etched on her face.

“It’s gonna be fine,” he assured her. “At worst, he’s just a little behind the other kids. Everyone develops at their own pace, you know. I was slow for my age in elementary school and I turned out just fine.”

“I know,” Jane replied, leaning against him. “I just worry, you know. I want him to be perfect is all. Everything has been so perfect until now…”

“Everything still is perfect,” Greg said, “and Jason is perfect, too. He’s our son. How could he be anything less?”

Jane nodded and a moment later the door crept open. In the doorway stood the pediatrician alone, a familiar look on his face. In a flash, Jane was dragged back five years to a day she had done everything she could to forget. She tried to shake the feeling away, but her heart plummeted in her chest.

“What is it?” Greg said, seeing the dismay in Jane’s expression.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news,” their pediatrician said. “I wish it weren’t so, but it looks like Jason’s not simply developing slower than normal. It’s my opinion that your son is on the autism spectrum and it is quite severe. I’m sorry.”

“Oh God,” Greg replied, but Jane remained silent. She could barely catch her breath as waves of terror washed over her.

“I wish there was something we could do, but there’s still no cure,” their pediatrician continued.

“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do about it. I know this is hard to hear, so I’ve taken the liberty of inviting someone I believe can help you through it. A counselor of sorts.”

“Thank you,” Greg replied. Jane, however, could not shake the intense feeling of déjà vu. She looked up to see a familiar face hovering in the doorway – a woman in her late forties, with a warm smile on her face.

“Hello, Jane,” she said. “My name is Diane.”

“We’ve met,” Jane replied, breathlessly.

“Have we?” Dr. Murphy asked. “Well, then I suppose we can dispense with the introductions. I understand this is all very surprising and you probably don’t know what to do, but I’m here to help you with that.”

“So, you can help us?” Greg asked.

Jane’s grip tightened on her husband’s hand.

“I believe I have a solution to the problem, yes.”

“Ok…” Greg said, looking to his wife. Jane was silent – breathless and growing dizzy from the pounding in her chest.

“Before we discuss the solution, I have to caution you – it’s not technically legal,” Dr. Murphy said with a warm smile.

“But it will be soon…”

Brendan Lyons is an author and pro-life advocate. His epistolary novel, Single Candles, raises money for the West Chester, PA chapter of Birthright International.